I have a really hard time letting go of things. There, I said it. It's probably one of my worst qualities. I'll never forget talking to Nathan via AIM in college (yeaaaaaah, AIM!) and literally correcting his spelling as we went through our conversation. Seriously?! How annoying can I be?? I'm surprised he kept me past the first date. I'm working on letting stuff go sooner, but it's super hard. You know, the stuff that doesn't matter ... why do I worry/fixate on it? I've learned through life experiences that when I let go, I'm more content. It's hard for me to remember that feeling though when something happens and I can't stop thinking about it incessantly.
Recently, a light bulb went off when I realized that God is trying to teach me a lesson about this whole letting go thing. Right before the holidays, Nathan lost his job, and it was a blow. Way more to him than to me, I'm sure, but it was definitely unsettling to say the least. It's kind of embarrassing to admit, but Nathan handled the whole situation way better than I did. I worried, looked for jobs for him obsessively (when he was completely capable of finding a job on his own—and did I might add!), and got bent out of shape when things didn't work out the way I thought they should. Talk about needing to take a step back.
Unfortunately, my eyes weren't really opened to all this until after Nathan found a new job and I laid in bed one night thinking about the whole process. The funny thing is that everything worked out way better than I could have ever planned, and isn't that how it usually goes? It got me thinking about my business. I realized that letting things go once in awhile could actually benefit Lane Baldwin Photography. I used to think that micromanaging every little piece of this business was the only way to get things done right. But really, I can be so much more efficient if I let Nathan help me with the financial side of things and get rid of this notion that I need to send an uber personalized e-mail to every person who sends me an inquiry. Like I said, efficiency!
I'm sure I won't change over night. Every day I have to take a deep breath and really consider what's worth the extra time. But hopefully I'm at least gracious enough to let go of a spelling mistake or two.
