Rebeginnings

Logging in to my little corner of the Internet felt oddly strange. That last post from September? It was the last time I logged in to my website, which seems like something I probably shouldn't share with you but I think we're beyond all that at this point.

I've missed blogging. I have. But I feel like I'm wearing so many hats right now that "blogger" had to come off. At least for a little bit.

You guys, parenting is hard work. It's FULFILLING work, but it's hard and time consuming. I want to be there for all of my little guy's milestones. And I don't just want to physically be there, but I want to be fully present, which means that other things have to make way for this season of life.

It's hard for me to admit that because I see so many people juggling so much more than I am, and doing it so seemingly effortlessly, but I've had to be honest with myself over the last few months about what I want and what I'm willing to give up for something else.

2018 will be the year of MARGIN for me. After talking with friends, reading books and listening to podcasts on the subject of hustling vs. simplifying, I know that this is what I need. I need a reduced workload so I can 100% focus on work when I'm working and family when I'm ... familying. ;) I need to say no so I can say YES to the things that really and truly matter.

Keeping margin in my life is my one and only overarching goal for 2018.

September Goals

Guys, I'm officially the worst at blogging these days. I was recently listening to Jenna Kutcher's Goal Digger podcast with Rhiannon Bosse about walking through some new/tough/different seasons of life and it really hit home. I realize I touch on this a little bit each month in my goals post, but I'm still walking through this new season and trying to sort it all out. 

Sometimes I'll catch old Lane berating herself for not getting 37 things crossed off her to do list one day and the next I'll be in a more relaxed place ready to devote 100% of my attention to my little guy instead of trying to multitask. Guys, it's a fine line. This work-from-home-mom thing is not for the faint of heart.

Again and again, month after month I think there's no reason to keep up with the goal posts, but you know what? It's important to me. Even if I'm the only one reading the post back, it holds me accountable to put my best foot forward and live the life I want to live each month. (Even if I never get another blog post written!)

So, here's to September. And walking through this new season some more. And hoping it feels more and more familiar as the temperature drops and the leaves change. 

September Goals

• Read Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
• Blog three times
• Edit 80% of my September work
• Update tax document
• Go to an Indians game
• Decide on a Halloween costume for Nolan
• Be mostly off and present with Nolan on non-daycare days

August Goals

Hello, August! :)

July was a bit crazy, what with getting back into shooting and being a work-from-home mom to Nolan. I don't think I totally realized what I was getting myself into when I booked everything for July post-maternity leave. The good news is that I've learned lots of things along the way and I suppose that's the most important thing!

1. I've learned that babies get a heck of a lot easier between 3-4 months. I'm sure it's different with each baby but we seemed to hit our stride with Nolan in July. Read: He started sleeping a LOT better. ;)
2. No matter how much you think you can get done during nap time, it's never quite enough. We have two days of childcare starting at the end of August and as much as I'm dreading Nolan not being under our roof those two days, I know it's for the best. I'm hoping I can be more mentally present on the days that he IS here. And I hope I can manage to cook dinner again!
3. I'm a much more pleasant person when I strategically book sessions and weddings. Now if I can continue to remember this ... :)

Here's to a fun and productive last full month of summer! What's on your bucket list for August?

August Goals

• Finish Lab Girl by Hope Jahren and read It's Not About Perfect by Shannon Miller
• Blog four times (I WILL get back to blogging one of these days!)
• Update tax document
• Make homemade ice cream
• Take Nolan to the pool one more time!

July Goals

“It’s not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What’s hard ... is figuring out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.” 

―Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet

I think I'll constantly be reminding myself of this quote over and over this year. It's hard for me to realize that I can't keep up the pace I used to. And at the same time, it's refreshing. Everything seems to be a catch-22 these days: I want to work again, but I also want to savor the slow life with the baby. I want Nolan to grow, but I want him to stay tiny. I want to set goals, but I also don't want to put too much pressure on myself just to check something off a list unless it means something. It's such a new season of life, and I'm wandering my way through it trying to figure out my new normal.

Thanks for sticking with me while I figure it out. (Even if I can't blog as much as I want to right now. :) )

July Goals

• Finish Lab Girl by Hope Jahren
• Take Nolan to the pool again (a little baby in a big pool is my new favorite thing)
• Get my ring cleaned
• Blog at least three times
• Edit my July weddings